Technology. I love it and I hate it. I need it but I want nothing to do with it. I want it to be part of my life, but I just can’t trust it.
Its not my fault, it my computer’s. Really. Here I am sitting at my desk. I’m typing madly away and really don’t know whether these digital 1s and 0s will ever see the light of day. I ask my computer to calculate some difficult numbers for me and it responds with gibberish. I ask it to send a message for me and it seems to forget or it sends it to the wrong person. Sometimes I type for hours, click the “save” button and it arbitrarily sends my work out into cyberspace from which it can never be retrieved.
Sometimes I look at this creation and fantasize about replacing it with a young and attractive trophy computer. Then I realize that this is probably all I deserve. I even periodically consider whether or not I may somehow be complicit in its poor behavior. Perhaps I need to better learn what buttons to push, and maybe which not to. Still, at the end of the day, I know I will keep it around and keep using it. I also know that at some given time, it will betray me. Despite this fact, I know that it has an important role to play. So I will go forward, filled with ambivalence, because I use it, as necessary, for something that only it can do. And it doesn’t even complain. After all, there are just some things that I can’t blame on either the government or my wife. For those things I have my computer.
If this blog doesn’t sound exactly right, don’t think it is a result of my ineptitude, it was perfect when it left my office. If something is wrong, its the computer’s fault. Really. Trust me on this.